Too often we let fear rule our lives. Fear of not being enough, fear of not being liked or worse; the fear of not being authentic.
I don’t feel as if I have been truly authentic on my blog for a while. I’ve been writing what I feel like I should write about, typing for the sake of typing. I haven’t found myself in the flow or in that state of just being for quite some time.
Frankly, I haven’t written from the heart since near the beginning.
I started my blog to reflect on my experiences of travelling to Tanzania. What was a truly life changing trip, I wanted to share the emotional turmoil I felt upon return. I was heart broken, lost yet at the same I felt more alive and awakened than ever. Within a matter of months the day to day routine took hold and things went back to how it was before. The trip became a distant memory and the gratitude I felt for every aspect of my life faded just as fast as the mundane reappeared. But, beneath those feelings lay a new found love for blogging that has grown ever since.
My earliest posts seem to be the most authentic of all. Reading over what I wrote, I am transported to that moment in time, spilling my heart out and embracing the now. Since then, I have put myself into a box – trying to find a label that doesn’t quite fit, setting unrealistic expectations of myself that I cannot live up to.
The lifestyle I want is a working progress, a slow one that needs patience, nurturing and a whole lotta love.
I’d love to say that I live a life of an atypical vegan blogger; drinking green smoothies every day, creating new and exciting recipes and exuding positivity on an hourly basis – but I don’t. I like comfort, simplicity and to an extent monotony with a dash of excitement. I have days when I feel incredibly low and others when I’m sick with happiness. I am beginning to find balance within my hectic schedule and that means slowing down and doing less. When life gets in the way, social media makes you feel guilty for not doing more, being more or having more.
But life isn’t all about cacao nibs and maca powder or having the most followers on Instagram;
in the end that will all be completely irrelevant. What matters is how you affect others, add value to their life whilst finding happiness in your own. For too long I have been focused on the destination without enjoying the ride and have since got lost along the way. It’s time to rediscover my authenticity by being open, honest and supportive and sharing my slice of something with the world of blogging.
Follow The Soul Searching Graduate on: